Stephanie Bovis shares how she 'crawls out of the hole and into the light'

May 26, 2024

Striking a balance in life may be as simple as carving out time regularly to indulge in an activity of your choice. Yahoo Shopping chats with personalities who share their passion for a sport or wellness activity they enjoy, which helps them take on the world with zeal. This series will inspire you to find an interest that will add that sparkle to your life. And should you feel inspired by the personalities, Yahoo Life Singapore helps set you on your way to your wellness journey with some relevant items.

Stephanie Bovis is a certified yoga and meditation teacher living in Singapore, with over 1,000 hours dedicated to various avenues of practice. She specialises in the yin style of practice and recently graduated with a two-year Mindfulness Meditation Certification led by her teachers, Tara Brach and Jack Kornfield. From this experience, she has become even more passionate about mental and emotional well-being, having worked through her mental health challenges. She is also a voiceover artist, event host, and podcaster of the Listening Well Podcast.

[CLICK ON PURPLE BUTTONS OR IMAGES FOR LINKS TO PRODUCTS.]

Stephanie Bovis: My most consistent wellness regime has been a steady blend of HIIT and yoga for over a decade. And depending on how I feel, I adjust the frequency of these activities accordingly. Doing both activities at a relatively moderate intensity (I'm not a cross-fitter or an Ashtangi) has kept me injury-free. It has allowed me to keep the machine that is my body running smoothly. I am strong but still limber. I move through life with fluidity and flexibility, but I can use my strength without issue when I need to use my vigour.

As I've gotten older, I am not training as much because my ego is taking a bit of a rest. Instead, I give my body what it needs to feel good and energised as much as possible.

Fitness and yoga aside, the one activity I love to do the most is my morning walk with my dogs. This activity happens on autopilot and is part of my daily morning meditation practice. On my walks, I usually listen to the podcast hosted by my teacher and guide Tara Brach, where she shares her weekly talks, which last 45-50 minutes, just the perfect amount of time for a walk. These walks impact my whole day, and I use this time to be with myself, to recalibrate and welcome the day without interruption.

I have also just started doing weekly Padel sessions with some friends, which has been super fun! One of my friends invited me one weekend, which I needed. It gave me a dose of socialness that keeps my spirits high. I am also very competitive in sports, having competed in touch rugby and volleyball back in the day. Plus, not going to lie; I've always dreamed of being a professional tennis player. So this activity meets me halfway.

I sacrificed being close to my family to be where I am now. I have never looked back after moving out of my home at 18 when I left for college. I have grown up and matured without the influence of my family beside me, which can be considered a sacrifice.

I am hyper-independent (maybe too much so), and this was a decision I made for myself, so no worries there. We have to adapt to our situation no matter what. But I always wonder how things might have been different if I lived close to my parents. How would I have been supported better emotionally? Physically? Mentally?

At this point, it will continue to remain a question.

I am so happy to see people choosing to share more about their struggles and choosing vulnerability over their pride.Stephanie on having more honest conversations.

Of course, I have many regrets. I have many situations that I look back with a cringe. But these are lessons, right? If we continue to act without reflection, the opportunity for integration isn't there. So while I may cringe at some of my actions in the past (be they professional or personal), I have to continue to hold my head up as I take the blows and hopefully (or eventually) learn from the mistakes!

These days, I enjoy conversing with my friends about the "down" moments we may experience or the aspects of our lives we wish to work on. When we experience moments of darkness, how do we crawl out of these holes and back into the light? Some of the most interesting conversations I have with others are about how we confront adversity and pick ourselves up when we fall. There is enough boasting on our social media to last a lifetime; frankly, I am over it. I am over the filters and projections and how people overcompensate for their greatness to avoid looking at themselves in the mirror!

At this point in my life, I don't need to know how amazing my friends are because I already KNOW this; I see it! Everyone has a beautiful gift to share, and I hope they can take that uniqueness and shine their light far and bright! But we all have a shadow side, and to talk about something that is often taboo or deemed unattractive to society's standard takes guts. It's brave. And awesome. I am so happy to see people choosing to share more about their struggles and choosing vulnerability over their pride. It makes for much more honest and exciting conversations.

Each moment is an opportunity to learn something new and to integrate it into the person we are continually moulding to become.Stephanie believes that a wellness journey doesn't have an end destination.

It has been and will always be an upward journey. A wellness journey doesn't have an end destination. Each moment is an opportunity to learn something new and to integrate it into the person we are continually moulding to become. This unfolding of maturity, ownership, understanding our values, and developing the person we want to be takes so much intricate work and constant growth!

While I have been on a path of self-discovery, sometimes I fall back into patterns of my 20s that are volatile and don’t serve me or others around me. I try my best not to shame and blame myself at that moment and to use it as an opportunity to grow and thrive. It only sometimes happens right away, but with constant practice, I know I will get there.

Knowing that there is an eternal unfolding of who I will become gives me great solace. Thich Nhat Hahn's famous quote, "No mud, No lotus", illustrates this idea of blossoming so vividly for me. We must first go through the mud to bloom into a beautiful flower. We must venture through the murky waters and endure the messiness before we can reach the surface and be clear, clean, and content with our lives.

These days, I am all about comfort. My days of tight pants and restrictive sports bras are over, and I like to keep things loose and flowy. Some of my favourite things to wear are from Lululemon's Align line. Specifically, the Align High-Rise Jogger and Align Crop Top are what you see in the pictures. I love the weightless buttery soft fabric of the pants, and I prefer wearing breathable, looser pants like the Jogger, especially in my yin classes, so I can feel blood/qi/energy circulate throughout my body.

Get Lululemon Align series

When I travel, I always bring one cork block with either a myofascial release ball or a tennis ball to iron out the kinks in my body. You can do many restorative poses with a block to release tension in the body, and it also acts as a little seat when you practise meditation. The tennis/myofascial release ball works as your masseuse wherever you go. Find a knotty part of your body, rest your weight on the ball, and then roll around until you feel relief. It's not necessarily a relaxing process, but it hurts so good in my mind!

I also always bring incense/cleansing woods and my essential oils for aromatherapy for any occasion. This helps centre my attention and allows me to feel in the moment wherever I go.

The most important thing I have done so far to inject positivity into the public was to launch my Listening Well Podcast in July 2022. I have posted an episode a week for over a year now, and now that I think about it, this is the most consistent I have been on a project to date!

The podcast has been a significant project for me and my healing journey as I speak to unique humans and friends on this podcast who share their gifts with the world. I also do a lot of research and share my insights on mental and emotional health. I hope my listeners can take even a nugget or two of valuable information and apply it to their lives. This is my only wish. I'd love to hear from you and where you're at on your wellness journey! You can email me or leave a voice note on the page itself.

No matter what activity you do – be it a sport, a fitness practice, or any movement you decide to partake in – listen to your body. Understand when your ego interjects and pushes you so hard that it leads you to an injury.

Just like we try to eat as nutritiously as possible for our health and well-being, we must also give our body the appropriate movement nutrition. But check in with yourself in the morning. What does your body need? You may not need that hot 90-minute Bikram class as per your usual schedule, but you may benefit from a more gentle, meditative practice instead. Honour your body by giving it what it needs. To do this, however, you need to PAUSE and ask yourself. What do I need today to get me to my balance level? How can my physical, mental, emotional, and even spiritual bodies talk to each other in harmony so that I can walk around with a sense of stability, dignity, and poise?

Gifting yourself a moment, even just a minute, to pause and check-in is one of the best ways to honour yourself.Stephanie Bovis on the importance of taking a pause.

I would tell my parents I wanted to become a professional tennis player.

Just start. That infamous saying "DAY ONE, NOT ONE DAY" applies. And go slow! Baby steps. When you experience first-hand the impact of those beautiful endorphins and their effect on your mood, you will get hooked! Natural high, baby, why not?

Three sayings apply to my physical, mental, and spiritual bodies.

Physical: “Motion is lotion.”

Mental: “What you resist, persists.”

Spiritual: “Make your mess, your message.”

My zest and curiosity for life is something that I love about myself. I love new experiences, travelling, and meeting new people. Growing up as a Third Cultured Kid and having lived in five countries before 18, I have gained an uncanny ability to integrate with different cultures and people from all walks of life, ever curious about their stories and how their cultures have shaped who they are.

Go easy on yourself. Treat yourself gently... Become a scientist in your mind and inquire about why you do the things you do.Stephanie Bovis on giving ourselves permission to self explore

Go easy on yourself. Treat yourself gently. The journey of self-exploration is rough, revealing, but can bring so many life-changing revelations that it makes the whole process worth it. Become curious about your inner workings. Become a scientist in your mind and inquire about why you do the things you do. Speak to a friend or professional, and attend community gatherings promoting these deep and meaningful conversations! No matter what, be compassionate to yourself when you feel the squeeze, and move gently through life.

Other inspiring fitness reads: